


The Gift of the Marcus

by AughtPunk



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angels, Brief Mentions of Nudity, Christmas, Gen, Too Many Erikas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 03:06:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2835707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AughtPunk/pseuds/AughtPunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Marcus first Christmas as an angel, and he's stuck spending it with the other angels. Not to mention Josie's getting them all gifts! So it's only right for him to get one for Josie, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gift of the Marcus

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Night Vale Secret Santa exchange for Gentlepresent!
> 
> I hope you like it!

The worst part about being an angel was the cold.

 Sure, there were parts Marcus Vansten liked about his new angelic lifestyle. No taxes, bitching gold wings, and the ability to make Leeroy burst into tears at will were pretty nice. But as an angel his beloved nudity came with a heavy price. His wings could only shield a little of the frosty December air. Back when he existed he would hire a gaggle of personal assistants armed with space heaters to follow him everywhere in the winter. Oh, those were the days! Now his only source of warmth came from the Erika next to him.

 Marcus liked this Erika. There was something about a fiery golden ring the size of a Prius that tickled his fancy. Not to mention the unblinking eyes really added that Night Vale flair. He moved a little closer to Erika, trying to keep his own wings from catching fire.

 "Right." Marcus nodded at the shop in front of them. Dark Owl Records was covered in the traditional deer entrails of the holidays. "This is how it's going to go. You're going to go in and distract the lady at the counter. Ask for, I don't know, Billy Joel's Greatest Hits. That should piss her off. Then while she's dealing with you I'm going to sneak into The Forbidden Music section and grab Josie's gift. Hopefully there will be someone to mug in there as well so we can pay for it. Questions?"

 "Yes. Erika said with a voice that reminded Marcus of every wrong thing he had ever done. "Why Are We Getting Josie A Gift?"

 "Yeah. Well." Marcus flexed his wings. "Erika and Erika saw her knitting a sweater with a huge E on the front last night. Erika even said they found a stash of similar sweaters in her bedroom. Even with the whole anti-capitalist thing, which by the way I do not agree with, she's planning on giving us presents. So we gotta get her one. Understand?"

 "How Odd." The many eyes upon Erika's ringed body looked up at the sign. "But She Has Done So Much For The Kingdom Of Heaven. A Gift Would Be Nice. But What?"

 "Don't worry. I got the perfect thing in mind. Assuming we can get past Michelle. Did you hear what she did to the last person who tried to buy an album?"

 "The Eyes of God See All, Erika."

"Marcus." Marcus rubbed his arms. "I told you, my name is Marcus."

 "Yes, Erika."

 Marcus sighed. "Anyway. This is going to be difficult. One of us may not return wait what the hell am I saying? We're damned angels! Come on, let's just go in and take the damned record. Not like she can legally stop us."

 "No One Can Stop God's Will." Erika said as they followed Marcus into the store; its fires singeing the sign as it ducked to fit into the doorway.

 ***

 Old Woman Josie was odd around the holidays.

 For one, she put a tree in her house. A tree. A tree! That alone made Marcus doubt her sanity. The fact that she made Erika decorate it in lights and Peanuts ornaments made him wonder if he should summon the secret police. There was more, too. She watched terrible old movies on the grounds that she had watched them the year before around the same time. She played terrible music that Marcus could not get out of his head. She also made a ton of cookies, but that part he didn't mind so much. He was in the middle of eating a handful as he watched the other angels unwrap their gifts.

 Erika got a sweater with an E on it.

 Erika also received a sweater with an E on it.

 Erika thankfully was given a fireproof sweater with an E on it. They had to sort of tie the arms together and wear it as a makeshift hat, but it was the thought that counted. Erika announced said thought loud enough to make the Precious Moments manger shake.

 "And here's your's!" The little raisin of a woman said as she held up a box to Marcus. "Something special for our newest angel!"

 "Er." Marcus took the package. "I. Um."

 "Josie." Said Erika, now with a sweater perched on top of its ring. "Erika Has A Gift For You."

 "You do?" Josie said with a smile.

 "Indeed. Is This Not Correct, Erika?"

 "Marcus. And. Yeah." Marcus pulled the wrapped present from it's hiding spot behind a couch cushion. "Nice Christmas or whatever."

 Josie held the gift in her strong, yet small hands. With a few tugs of the ribbon the wrapping fell away to reveal an old record album. The cover was almost faded beyond recognition, but Josie was still able to read the faint script.

"Die Zauberflote."

 "It's one of those Opera things, right?" Marcus tried to peer around the record to get a better look at Josie's face. "Cause you're always going on and on about those. Whatever they are. Is it a type of flute or-hey!" He found himself cut off by a bone-crushing hug. For an old woman Josie sure could break a few bones in her grip.

 "Oh hun!" She said as she let go. "Thank you. Thank you so much. Erika, go put this on right away! No wait, not you. We need someone who has hands. Erika?"

 "Got it." Said Erika as the sweatered angel grabbed the album and went over to the record player.

 "This means so much to me, dear." Josie beamed with happiness. "Now open your gift."

 "Yeah yeah. I always wanted a-" Marcus paused as he opened the box. There wasn't a sweater inside. Instead there was what could only be described as the fluffiest bathrobe he had ever seen. He picked it out of the box and looked it over. There was even a flap on the back for his wings to poke out of.

 "I figured this would help keep you warm while being at your preferred level of nudity." Josie said with a smile. "I installed the wing flap. And monogrammed it for you."

 Marcus ran his thumb over the evenly stitched gold MV on the lapel. He gulped, suddenly feeling as if something was caught in his throat. "T-Thank you, Josie. I, I don't know what to...to...what the hell is that noise?" A wobbling tune came from the direction of the old record player.

 "Oh!" Josie clapped her hands together. "That would be Tamino being saved by the servants of the Queen of the Night! Erika! Turn it up! And Erika! Stop eating all of the cookies!" She wandered off, her body swaying to the odd music.

 Ten out of the thirteen eyes on Erika turned to Marcus. "This Is Opera?"

 "I guess?" Marcus slipped the bathrobe on. With a little wiggling he got his wings out of the flap.

 "Oh. I Thought It Was A Type Of Mucus."

"Gross."


End file.
